Selecting a Happy Hour Location: Steer Clear of Ed Hardy

A new hobby of mine is trying out new happy hour spots here in Seattle. There are some really great locations in Bellevue and Seattle, but I have to call out something I have observed. I call it the Ed Hardy Law and it is as follows:

The net weight of all hair product and Ed Hardy gear worn in a lounge, night club, or bar is directly proportional to the 'Douche-Baginess' present.



With this simple observation I strongly suggest selecting a sample of 5-10 individuals in a happy hour location. If more than 3-5 (depending on the sample size) of these people have a stitch of Ed Hardy on it is important you leave immediately. If you do not leave, you put yourself at high risk of assimilating after repeat exposures and you may begin feeling the urge to fake tan, take human growth hormones, and kick puppies. Once this begins, it is very difficult change course as your IQ will have dropped significantly, rendering you helpless as you spiral out of control into the land of Douchebaginess. Do no succumb or you could become this guy....